Life is a series of transitions - some we choose; others choose us.
Six weeks ago, I began my farm-sitting escapade on Quadra Island. I was excited, nervous, and determined to do my job well. As I reflect on my recent experiences, I am reminded that every transition offers an opportunity for growth - even when the path feels uncertain.
The Quadra commitment meant a lot of change for my work life and for my relationship with my husband. Although my office and home are only a 15 minute ferry ride away, the total commute from the farm was about an hour. Needless to say, I spent most of my time close to the animals.
About 3 days ago, I received a message from my friends, the farm owners, letting me know that they would be home 2 days early. I was very interested to note my response - it was one of disappointment. This surprised me, as adapting to the flow of chores and isolated living had been challenging at the beginning. Dealing with the feelings that were arising in me caused me to reflect on the wisdom shared in the book, Life Is in the Transitions: Master Change at Any Age, by Bruce Feiler. My six-week journey has been all about transitions and the lessons they hold.
The ‘Messy Middle’ period of my farm experience was filled with chaos and uncertainty. At one point I found myself kicked out of our Facebook and Instagram business pages after being tricked into responding to a scam. At another point, it rained and rained - and then rained some more - making my outdoor pursuits less than desirable. Oh, and let's not forget the times I made many mistakes while milking the goat, which led to bucking, kicking and milk spilling everywhere. That period took place during 'the holidays', where there were not only no organized activities on this small island, but most of the shops were closed as well. I felt frustrated and lonely. My watch that monitors my health and energy levels recorded high stress and poor sleep. Looking back, I recognize this phase as what Feiler calls the 'shedding' stage. I was letting go of old patterns and expectations, as new ones emerged.
Needless to say, I eventually found my stride as I transitioned into Feiler's 'create it' phase. Here, new possibilities began to unfold and life started to take shape in a way that felt right. I led a workshop and I found group activities to join in on. Perhaps the change of weather also played a role. I rejoiced as the days got longer and the sun came out. I even had a friend come to visit with me and, through sharing my experiences with others, I found unexpected connection and community.
Which brings me back to the present. Here I am at the time for this short journey to end. I feel some grief and confusion, for sure. I used this time to recreate the way I approach my life and work, and I started settling in with a marked reduction in stress. I anticipate that I will miss that. I also feel somewhat nervous about the work that still needs to be done to clean up after myself and prepare the farm in a way that will create a smooth return for my friends. "What will life be like upon my return to Campbell River? " I have been wondering. I am experiencing some worry at the though that I might forget the balance and ease I achieved on the island, and let the busyness of city life sweep me back into its flurry. I have not been to the mountain to ski yet either (and for those of you who know me, you know that I LOVE SNOW). What's next? (Breathe, Jill, just breathe).
In his book, Bruce Feiler provides a seven-step toolkit for managing transitions. It's good advice. I am sharing it with you now:
Accept it: Acknowledge your emotions regarding the change.
Mark it: Create rituals to signify the transition.
Shed it: Let go of outdated mindsets.
Create it: Explore new possibilities and experiences.
Share it: Seek advice and wisdom from others.
Launch it: Reveal your new self to the world.
Tell it: Craft a new narrative about your journey.
So yes, I am saying goodbye to my island adventure, but I am also determined to invite a new beginning upon my return home. I want to bring my new balance back with me. I feel transformed as a result of this journey across the ocean passage. I have worked my way through a “Create Your Life” workshop, complete with goals and affirmations of the life I choose to create and embrace in this new year, as well. As Feiler suggests, I'm learning to 'launch' my new self, and to 'tell' my story of transformation. I know that old habits die hard, but I also know that I am equipped with new perspectives that serve me well.
This time away has been an opportunity for transition and growth. I have the tools in place to help me stay on point, close friends to support me, and a husband who loves me all the way through it all. As I prepare to cross the ocean passage once again, back to my first home, I know that I will carry with me more than just memories. I am bringing home a transformed way of being - one that I have learned to embrace through the endings, beginnings, and yes, even those messy middles.
