Our Own Circus

Our lives are made up of people, places and events that may all seem out of our control. I am here to tell you that notion isn’t true. Sure, we came into the world with a set of parents and possibly siblings, but once our individual development hits the stage where we can be consistent, and less impulsive in our choices (usually no later than 25 years old) we become our own ringmasters.

I was recently listening to a very wise friend of mine who equated our life experience to that of a ship. A ship is surrounded by water, yet it floats. When a ship is filled with water, it sinks, for sure, though. In other words, all of Life’s choices exist around us and we can float through each experience while maintaining our own unique integrity. If we allow our hulls to be breached, however, the 'water' will begin to seep in and, slowly but surely, if we are not mindful of the actions we take to maintain our integrity, we will drown. Like with a ship, we have the opportunity to repair our breaches/wounds and sail onward - or not. The choice is ours.

This metaphor of the ship extends to so many aspects of our lives - particularly with regard to how we navigate the unpredictable elements around us. There is a lot of apparent craziness circulating around our world at the moment - storms of waves, wind, rain and more. When I moved to the West Coast, outdoor experiences seemed formidable. I wanted to commute to work via my bicycle but, eee gawd! I soon realized that if I wanted to have the experiences I sought, though, I had to embrace my current situation by suiting up and preparing myself for the elements.  So, I bought rain gear and added fenders to my bike because, when I am well equipped, I can embrace 'the weather' and carry on.

Just as we prepare for physical weather, we must also equip ourselves for the emotional and social climate around us. The political climate of today is fascinating. I want to say that this is new and different - that it has never been like this before - but that is simply not true. My perspective of what is so can be skewed because I have lived my 60 or so years through a period of fairly consistent stability, and I have been given a sort of prescription to live by that generally has led to ‘guaranteed’ outcomes. Well, that old recipe no longer applies during these times. The best advice I have received regarding adapting is to get comfortable with change and to be ready to pivot.

Perhaps I am fortunate to be a "Gen Xer". We were the first wave of people in the new economy who needed to get extra creative with our employment strategies. My father couldn’t figure out why I wasn’t moving forward in the way he had prescribed. It just wasn’t possible - that's why. Unlike his generation, we had to weave together multiple jobs and several streams of income to make ends meet, and the old models continue to crumble today. Young families have had to let go of old ideals, for instance - like making ends meet on a single income, and/or having home ownership as a reachable goal. The dance of living right now seems far more complex than what I was told it would be. The good news is, once we practice becoming adept at navigating new intricacies, we then find we have embraced the new normal.

The ability to adapt and create our own paths is central to becoming the ringmasters of our own personal life 'circuses'. Life is built on the tide of time - it ebbs in and out, bringing transitions of experience. So, it is imperative that we get clear about our personal values and desires, so we will be best prepared to set sail in the direction of our choices.

Where we place our focus plays a huge role in all our decision making, whether we are aware of it or not. When I reflect on any divisiveness in my community or the world, I tend to feel devastated because togetherness is high on my list of what is important in society. Knowing this, it isn’t surprising, then, that I tend to place my focus on sharing my home with many people at any given time, and on stopping to chat with random strangers instead. I am always creating opportunities to ‘hold hands’ as I move forward in life. That is the life I choose.

When my ideal way of being in the world is challenged, I can tend to feel anxious. What I have learned about that is that the best remedy for the anxiety which comes from a perceived conflict, is to turn away from obsessing over the apparent threat and instead ask myself, “What can I do to build on my best possible life experiences? How can I make a difference?”

We can all do this! Each one of us has all the opportunity we need to design our ideal lives, and to live them to the best of our abilities. Putting this Truth into practice is how we go about 'fixing a leaking hull'. Surround yourself with the people, places and events that hold the highest meaning for you, and then and get out in the world to be an advocate for what you believe!

Federal elections are upon us in Canada. I can sit back and be afraid, or angry, or whatever -or I can attend the local All Candidates Debates and educate myself in order to make the best decisions for supporting a world I want to live in. (Be the ringmaster in my own circus). In the final analysis, I choose to join hands with those people who share similar values with me, and I continue to aspire to (and strive for) a life that works for everyone together. That’s me.

Now, I'll remind you that being a ringmaster isn't about controlling every element of the show. Rather, it is about directing attention and energy toward what truly matters. With that in mind, I encourage you to take one small step toward claiming your role as ringmaster today. Using the ship metaphor, I am inviting you to identify a single 'leak in your ship' that needs repair (perhaps an area where you've been a passive observer rather than choosing to be an active participant). Whether it's joining a community group, having a difficult conversation you have been avoiding, or simply taking time to clarify your own values, the first step to running the show of your best life is deciding which ring deserves your focus most. How are you going to play ringmaster of your life's 'circus' today?